Watching the CNN coverage of the debt crisis on AC360 is disheartening. Basically, what I am gathering from this debacle is this:

1. Some members don’t care if they get re-elected. They know people are pissed. The people WHO VOTED FOR THEM, nonetheless. They don’t care. Not at all. They are sticking to their guns even if it means being a one-termer. Oh, good.
2. It is no shock so many member of congress have failed marriages. Compromise and caring about people’s feelings are not high on the list.
3. When did John McCain wake up? Welcome back, man. I’m glad the roofies Palin slipped you have finally worn off.
4. The GOP is effed. They can’t even agree amongst themselves.
5. The Dems are effed. They have the stupid Tea Party folks who are still playing the “aw shucks, I’m an outsider” card keeping them from compromising with the reasonable GOPers.
6. I am changing the pronunciation of the Speaker of the House’s name so I can refer to him as “Boehner Stabone”. I sincerely hope that this catches on.
7. The “buy gold” people are really capitalizing on this advertising opportunity. Well, at least someone is finding opportunity in this economy.

As a side note: I’ve decided that I would like someone to produce a talk show that is co-hosted by Anderson Cooper and Ellen DeGeneres. That would be awesome! I can’t possibly be the only person that thinks so.

Today has been a great day for me.

Friday means “work from home day” in the summer months. This means I get to roll out of bed shortly before my weekly 8:30 AM conference call and put zero effort into getting ready. I nailed my “word of the week” given to me to drop in said call by my manager (this week, incumbency). I pulled into the lead on my head to head fantasy baseball match-up. The Cubs beat the only team with a worse record than they have, meaning they avoided being the absolute worst team in MLB for at least today. Oh…and one more thing…

This.

When this news scrolled across my Twitter feed I let out a fist pump and high-fived my dog. Yes, my dog. He had been trained to do this for our amusement. It is fun to do while watching various sporting events, but this might be the first time I had done it solely because I had no one else around to high five.

But I digress…

This ruling should make Buckeye fans everywhere extremely optimistic about the chance that the NCAA will accept their self-imposed penalties; or, at minimum, no post-season ban. It should also give a little bit of a nudge to recruits who were on the fence pending this news. But most of all, it allows me to do a big ol’ “in your FACE” to people who thought this would be another SMU. There were a lot of these people. Living in Iowa far away from the friendly borders of my home state means I was subjected to this on what seemed to be an almost daily basis. Also, watching people scramble on Twitter has provided me with an afternoon full of entertainment. Of course, anyone that really looked at the case could not honestly believe this would happen. Only a few things turned out to be true.

6 guys were stated to be involved originally
1 more was discovered from the SI “report” (1 out of the 9 they had rumored)
The car thing was totally not a violation (responsible journalism, SI)
Tressel was the only one who knew

These are not death penalty type violations and the fact that the NCAA confirms it is should bode well for the Buckeyes. Dare I say it is the best news we could have hoped for.

Also, this should serve as a cautionary tale for anyone who rushes to print a story based on interviews with less than savory characters. I do not think that Dohrmann is a terrible journalist nor will I jump on that bandwagon. I will say, however, that I think he rushed to print a story to capitalize on the moment and neglected to do much in the way of confirmation.

But it matters not to me because I am a happy camper…at least until August 12th.

We use the internet quite a bit in our home. Some for personal use and some is for business use. As a result, we need a quality service that works and works well. We’d had South Slope DSL for many years and, frankly, it sucked. Not only was it kind of slow (yes, I do remember dial-up but I expect more from broadband) but it would constantly just stop working. At first it was just from time to time, we called, they said “oh, there is an IP conflict” they fixed it and we were cool for a while. Eventually, it just never worked. Ever. This is unacceptable, which is a shame as I prefer to do business with small, local companies.

Prior to going into more detail, allow me to give you a glimpse into my past. My hatred of Mediacom runs deep. Several years ago we had an issue with our cable. We had a service tech come to check it out. They said they needed a different tech to come out and do work in the box. I asked if we had to be home for this and he said no as it was all done outside. We headed to Ohio thinking we were fine. We came back to a still crappy cable signal. I called Mediacom and informed them that nothing had been done. They then informed me that they had a signature on file from Friday that stated service was ok. I informed them that was odd as we were 3 states away and asked if I could speak to the tech to identify the person as clearly someone had broken into my home. They, of course, did not let that happen. This set the brutal cancellation process into action. This included my dropping off the box and being informed they still had to charge me as someone had to shut off the outside signal. Anyone that lives in the Iowa City area and has plugged in their TV to see there is service knows better. They don’t shut this crap off. I went ballistic. I swore that day I would never have their service again. When I get their fliers, I spiral into a higher level of pissed off. Plus, cable sucks. Everyone who can get satellite should do so. I get apartment dwellers are screwed and maybe people that live amongst redwood trees, but everyone else should do this.

Unfortunately, however, I recognize that cable internet is far superior to DSL. As a result, I swallowed my pride and decided to get Mediacom internet. I rationalized by thinking that at least I am not getting cable and this is arguable more of an F-you as I am flat-out telling them Direct TV is better TV service. I swallowed my pride, bent over and made an installation appointment.

The installer came yesterday. When the installer left, our DTV no longer worked.

Weird.

I instantly knew they had screwed something up. The installer blamed a faulty switch. Of course, it worked for a year (to the date, as I saw later) but now it is faulty. I called up DTV and made an appointment for today.

DTV shows up and instantly asks, “this problem started when the internet was installed, didn’t it?” I said yes. He then took me out to the box to show me that the Mediacom installer took one of their lines to run their internet service. Well, that knocked out the service to that room (which I was not crushed about too badly) and also to the entire house as they took the line that led to the power converter. After the instant hypertension subsided enough for me to speak, I asked what they could do. He had to call his sup.

You’ve gotta be kidding me.

The sup first said to disconnect the internet and take the line back. They then decided that was probably a bad idea customer service wise and restored the DTV service to the remainder of the house. They left a note stating that Mediacom needs to come out and run their own jack and that they will come out when that occurs to ensure they don’t mess with the DTV stuff again. They also pointed out that stealing that line was a felony and if Mediacom refuses to fix it then they will press charges. Perfect.

Oh, and the Mediacom installer cut the coax to make it look like an accident. It was pretty obvious. Laughably so, really. Also, Mediacom sent a contractor so it’s likely they will point this out and leave that guy out to dry. It’s a bad situation.

So here I am, I have working DTV (in all rooms but 1) and internet. However, Mediacom now needs to come out and install their own jack and get away from the DTV lines. Meanwhile, I have managed to get myself stuck in a media company pissing match.

I have to give major props to Direct TV. They were nothing but helpful. They easily could have left me our to dry until Mediacom fixed their end. I have no doubts that Mediacom will not be nearly as helpful.

The other issue here is a feel like a cheap whore. I am not canceling the internet service. It is fast and it is working (thus far) and I didn’t have that before. I am whoring myself out for internet. Ugh.

So here I am, once again fighting the devil that is Mediacom. In the meantime, I am going to do everything I can to let everyone know how shitty they are. If this means renting a plane to fly around with a banner that says “Mediacom sucks” then so be it. I hate them with every ounce of my being.

They F’d with the wrong girl…

Sunday night, I was hanging out, thinking about calling it an early night. We had been gone all weekend and I wanted to get a good night’s sleep before I headed off to work. For some reason, I decided to check out Twitter one last time before bed.

Boy, was I happy that I did.

I instantly made the comment that we needed to flip it to CNN because the President was supposed to speak soon and it was rumored that Osama Bin Laden was dead. After waiting and waiting, the President delivered the speech of a lifetime and told us the news.

I was elated! After the events of 9/11 I believe all Americans wanted nothing more than to see the man responsible brought to justice. I also believe that most of us were beginning to wonder if it would ever happen. It did.

A funny thing happened the next day. Americans were more divided than they have been in years. An even that should have been something that united us all was tearing us apart. I was seeing it on Facebook and Twitter. People that I followed and some that I have known for my entire life were blasting Obama, some going so far as to wish death upon him. So yes, those calling themselves the most American were suddenly committing an act of Treason.

It was one of the most embarrassed I have ever been for my country.

I have to be honest that I do feel that if any other president had called this order or any other candidate had been elected and delivered this news that they would not receive this treatment. I’ve not been one to buy into the “people that don’t like Obama are racist bastards” stuff. In this case, however, well…just calling a spade a spade. People who are stating that Obama is also Muslim or not an American and needs to die are ignorant pieces of shit. Point blank. The irony that SEALS executed a plan to kill a man who endangered their freedom to be ignorant pieces of shit is not lost.

Obama is the Commander in Chief. He only took credit for calling the order. Nothing more, nothing less. He did something that neither Clinton nor Bush Jr. could do. Both had chances, both failed. It took balls the size of boulders to make the call to send in a ground attack without informing Pakistan out of fear that they would notify Bin Laden. It also took the courage of the best of the best to pull it off successfully. All involved should be commended.

Also, one last thing. There was one candidate that said he would go into Pakistan and get Osama if he had to. There was one who said that was stupid. Some of you have forgotten already which one that was.

I guess that whole “Indivisible with Liberty” statement is a crock of shit after all.

I’ve seen a ridiculous number of posts on my FB wall and Twitter regarding the 4/20 “Holiday”. I have nothing against marijuana use and feel it is silly that it is illegal. Having said that, just stop with the posts. Seriously…please.

Why? It’s simple, really. You look like an idiot. I know plenty of people who partake in recreational marijuana use who aren’t advertising the fact for the world to see. In fact, the people who are blaring that they are celebrating 4/20 are likely the reasons that the legalization of marijuana hasn’t proceeded any further than it has. It’s hard to take the “safer than alcohol” and “it’s natural” segment of the population who have legitimate arguments seriously when you have the “hehe 4/20!!!” folks that speak the loudest.

Think about it, one of the reasons that marijuana is illegal in the first place is because of movies like Reefer Madness that portray marijuana users as out of control morons. If you buy into the whole “I’m taking the day off to get stoned out of my mind and I will Facebook it for the world to see” angle then you are kind of proving them right. You make it look like your life revolves so much around marijuana use that you have to take a day to just get stoned out of your mind. In other words, you are proving those stuffy jackholes right. I don’t like that. Not one bit.

I have to admit that I immediately deduct about 20 IQ points from anyone who has taken the time to post something that might be detrimental to future or continued employment. While I operate under the “what my employee does in their free time means nothing to me” theory, it’s tough to not wonder a bit about the work ethic of someone who takes one day to revolve around getting stoned. I am well aware that there is a chance that some of my employees smoke some ganja recreationally. That’s fine. If it isn’t affecting their on the job performance it doesn’t hurt me one bit. But if I have someone calling in sick and I see later that it’s posted on FB that it was because of 4/20. Well, you lied about being sick and you did it to get stoned. Call in sick and celebrate 4/20 by all means, but don’t post on FB or Twitter about it where your boss can see. Even if I suspect it, well, lots of people call in sick when they are not. If you let that fact be known to me then your judgment sucks and I don’t want you as an employee.

Also, 420 originally referred to a time and not a date. Before making this into a date, someone should have checked to see that it was Hitler’s birthday. Nothing says “counter-culture clash” like stoners and White Supremacists.

If you are a true marijuana activist who truly feels it should be legal then celebrate the day by distributing pamphlets regarding the safety of marijuana in comparison with alcohol, do something to raise money for NORML, volunteer at a clinic that distributes medical marijuna, etc. In other words, do something to show that marijuana is used by sane and productive members of society.

If you are just a stoner who uses the day as an excuse to be stupid then STFU and stop hurting the cause of those who actually do something with their lives.

Today, I looked outside to see some of those ever famous April showers mentioned in children’s tunes and mnemonic devices everywhere. No big deal, I think, until I pulled out my iPhone.

It was 30 degrees.

It is April 19th.

The Midwest has its advantages and I do not want those to be overlooked. The people are nice, our cost of living is usually reasonable even in the largest of cities and it’s easy to hire people because the work ethic is generally superior to other regions of the United States. Also, it truly does make us appreciate vacations as we know what crap weather is. If I lived in, say, Hawaii; I’d like to think that I would take the beautiful weather for granted. Of course, I would be taking it for granted as I sat on a beach sipping on a Mai Tai, but I digress. The reason our cost of living is reasonable is no one wants to live where weather sucks 75% of the time and the reason our work ethic is solid is because we don’t want to spend any time in this crap. We have nothing better to do. Spending time with nature when it is 30 degrees and rainy or slaving away the day looking at spreadsheets, attempting to keep up with email of those that feel reply all is a way of life and updating my Facebook status and Tweets. Hmm…tough call, but at least I’m dry if I’m toiling for Corporate America and connecting with the outside world solely through social media.

30 degrees during the day in April is completely inexcusable. It sucks, I am unhappy about it and I would like to have the spring weather that I experienced just a few days ago. The only thing that is even remotely a check mark in the positive column is that it makes my sitting in an interior office with no windows and that shares a wall with the bathroom where I listen to the flushing of toilets all day long bearable. I don’t have to look at the nastiness that is this weather. I can just attempt to drown out the whooshing of the toilets with the sounds of depressing alt rock.

I know that things will get better and I will forget all about it when it is nice outside. That is why we stay here. Midwesterners are a breed of individuals that develop a certain form of Alzheimer’s when it comes to weather. It’s who we are and I need to just embrace it. But alas, it will be easier to embrace when I I can enjoy the outdoors and shun the fluorescent lights.

To the tune of “American Pie” with apologies to the great Don McLean

A long, long time ago….
I can still remember
When the Cavs got first pick in the draft
The King said if he had his chance
He’d make the folks in Cleveland dance
And, maybe, they’d have a championship in a while.

But 2010 made us shiver
That LBJ could not deliver
The Celtics won in 5 games
Another year of no ring

I can’t remember if he cried
But I do know that he never tried
And something hurt down deep inside
The day that King James died

So bye-bye Mr. LeBron Guy
Delonte likes your mother
So the playoff hopes died
And those ESPN boys speculate on the side
Sayin’ “NYC or Chi-town for this guy”
Cleveland’s champ hopes went awry

Why does Cleveland have such bad luck?
And why does every team there suck?
Is it still because of the river fire?
They have the hall of Rock N Roll
Canton is just right down the road
But can they win a trophy for the city’s soul?

Well I know the town loves their team
I hear them yell and cheer and scream
They watch them all year round
Though their hearts are stomped on the ground

It has been a long 46 year drought
Not that I need to point that out
Once again the fans are gonna pout
The day that King James died

The city’s singin’
bye-bye Mr. LeBron Guy
Delonte likes your mother
So the playoff hopes died
And those ESPN boys speculate on the side
Sayin’ “NYC or Chi-town for this guy”
Cleveland’s champ hopes went awry

Now, 13 years ago the Tribe was close
2 outs away for the closer’s role
But the Marlins tied it anyway
And we all sat through 11 innings
Every house in Ohio was glued to the TV
And then what happened was the most awful thing

See, while the team was looking down
Renteria stole the Indian’s crown
The city was again spurned
Since then they have not returned
And while the people looked for someone to blame
The hopes and dreams all seemed so lame
People went to drink their sorrows away
The day that King James died

The city’s singin’
bye-bye Mr. LeBron Guy
Delonte likes your mother
So the playoff hopes died
And those ESPN boys speculate on the side
Sayin’ “NYC or Chi-town for this guy”
Cleveland’s champ hopes went awry

Oh my heavens don’t forget 87
When that stupid drive caused coronary defection
98 yards moved by so fast
5 minutes and 2 seconds til they owned their ass
Elway and his damn forward pass
Kosar didn’t ever stand a chance

Now the freezing air reeked of doom
While Cleveland sang the same old tune
They thought they’d finally dance
But the horse-man killed that chance
OT came and they took the field
Those stupid Broncos wouldn’t yield
The OT FG killed the deal
The day that King James died

The city’s singin’
bye-bye Mr. LeBron Guy
Delonte likes your mother
So the playoff hopes died
And those ESPN boys speculate on the side
Sayin’ “NYC or Chi-town for this guy”
Cleveland’s champ hopes went awry

And the city was again in that place
Richfield, Ohio in a final game
You could sense that “here we go again”
So come on, Cavs just win one, please advance
Of course, they just crapped in their pants
Cause winning isn’t Cleveland’s friend

The nation watched 23 on stage
The man had ice water in his veins
You knew he’d cause Cleveland hell
That final winning shot fell
As the people wandered out that night
Lighting trash on fire cause it seemed right
MJ just laughed with delight
The day that King James died

The city’s singin’
bye-bye Mr. LeBron Guy
Delonte likes your mother
So the playoff hopes died
And those ESPN boys speculate on the side
Sayin’ “NYC or Chi-town for this guy”
Cleveland’s champ hopes went awry

The Brownies gave us all the blues
When they just up and moved
Though they would be back someday.
The city went down that sad, sad road
They’d gone down several times before
No one could believe the football wouldn’t play

Now in the streets, everyone screamed
LBJ is the MVP
But no happy words were spoken
Everyone’s hearts were broken.
The heartbreak happens in all venues
Browns Stadium, the Jake and the Q
You just expect the massive choke
The day that King James died

The Cleveland’s singin’
bye-bye Mr. LeBron Guy
Delonte likes your mother
So the playoff hopes died
And those ESPN boys speculate on the side
Sayin’ “NYC or Chi-town for this guy”
Cleveland’s champ hopes went awry

The city’s singin’
bye-bye Mr. LeBron Guy
Delonte likes your mother
So the playoff hopes died
And those ESPN boys speculate on the side
Sayin’ “NYC or Chi-town for this guy”
Cleveland’s champ hopes went awry

You annoy the hell out of me. I shouldn’t have to moderate a small blog this much. Does the spam even work?? I mean, really?

Sincerely,

Me.

Sometimes when you are having a crappy day and you need a laugh, a friend will come through in a big way. This did it for me:

Running in second:

Who doesn’t want a mattress made of Gypsy Sluts?