For some reason, I have subjected myself to several hours of MTV over the past couple of days. My GOD it sucks; but I can’t stop watching and watching and watching. Take a journey with me to the death of my good sense.

First up was “Engaged and Underaged”. The show follows a couple under the age of 21 on their path to marriage. In almost all of the cases, they have been dating since like 12 or something. To one-up the other couples, one of them got married, live, on MTV, in Times Square. The whole show basically focused on the fact that they are waiting until marriage to have sex and came damn close to stating that was the reason for marriage (he was being deployed to Afghanistan). That’s great, really, but they kept talking about it so much that I thought when there was 5 minutes left they were going to push them into a room and film that too.

Next was “Date my Mom”. This is the show that hooked us and wouldn’t let us go. Boys, errr, men and in one case a lesbian went on dates with mothers to determine which girl they should date. The moms, in many cases, were bigger whores than their daughters. One mother flashed the guy, which I imagine helped the girl’s case immensely because, you know, that wouldn’t be awkward to see her again or anything. The mothers also had a terrible issue with bringing up stuff the daughters asked them not to. The sig other and I discussed, at length, how our mothers would have screwed a situation like this up. It was ridiculously addictive. I had to turn it off to force us to go to bed.

The only other full show I saw was an episode of Cribs, which featured Perez Hilton. Nothing too much to say about that. Cribs is really tame and is just a Gen X and Y version of “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.”

What really got me, and by “got” I mean caused a plethora of “WTF” moments, were the ads for the shows and movies that were coming. For example, this “American Mall” movie coming up. It’s apparently from the same writing team as “High School Musical”. From what I can gather; a girl writes a song, a boy finds it and tweaks it, a mean girl wants to open a store and talks him into stealing the song and using it to pimp out the store. Sadly, part of me wants to tune in. I mean, there aren’t enough stories about retail greed and copyright infringement these days.

Then, of course, there is “The Hills”. Ahhhh “The Hills”. I, sadly, watched some of “Laguna Beach” and think the story of LC should have just died there. Also, I think we are giving girls unrealistic expectations with the whole “I graduated from HS, dropped out of college and am now writing for a major publication” thing. I remember reading an article about how pathetic the under 25 crowd was these days in how there is this large number of people living off of their parents and have no desire to do anything else. I could probably push that to 30 and under as there is a rash of 30 year olds living in the basements of their parents. Now, if your parents are unhealthy and unable to take care of themselves that’s one thing. If you want to mooch under the guise of following your dream when, in fact, your dream is using them for free room and board and no need to wake up and get a real job, that’s another. Basically, what I am saying is that shows like this don’t help that out so much. I’m not buying that LC et all are affording these places on their own.

So, MTV, you freaking win. You won the 3 or so hours of my life that I could never get back and held onto them through this stupid post. Way to go!