Dear Cubbies,

Well, here we are again. It seems as if we find ourselves at a crossroads in our relationship one more time. For all that I have given you…my hard earned cash in tickets, clothing and memorabilia, my health due to alcohol consumption and occasional cigarette intake, my undying love and devotion…you have once again given me nothing but heartache.

Oh sure, this is not the first time. This is, however, the worst time in recent memory. In 2003 it was just a choke job. 5 outs from the first World Series in decades and some douchebag Burb boy happens to interfere. It was the curse in play. You know it, I know it, Cub fans everywhere know it. In 2007 it was just plain ol’ disappointment. I mean, you almost didn’t even make it so there wasn’t a lot of shock.

This year, however, well, what is the excuse? This is the best Cubs team that I can vividly remember, winning 97 game and never losing more than 6 in a row. The offense was amazing, the rotation was rock solid. THIS was the year. THIS was the end of a century of disappointment. Except for one thing standing in your way…

…you apparently forgot to show up.

That was the most pathetic display of baseball that I have ever seen. That is saying something since I am, well, a Cubs fan. I know pathetic baseball better than most. I just kept looking for that chemistry, that passion, that fire that won you 97 games. It was nowhere to be found. What I did see was a rotation folding like a cheap suit at the worst possible time, bats falling silent and a team that had a very “I don’t give a shit” feel to them.

I can tolerate losing, of course, but what I have loved about my Cubbies is that feeling that at least you tried. There was also a feeling of optimisim and the feeling that it was truly a year away. Well, guess what, this year was here and I don’t feel that way the morning after you flat out blew it. I feel kind of like a cheap whore who has been used and left wanting more while reading a note left on my nightstand after you slipped away.

This feeling is only heightened knowing that the Tampa Bay Devil Ray fans, the fans of a team that have only existed for 11 years, a team that had trouble selling tickets until this year when they were winning thereby showing the loyalty of fans to be about nil, have a chance to see their guys win it all. They don’t have to suffer. It’s fitting that they are in Florida. After all, that afforementioned 2003 collapse came against the Marlins, who had also existed for 5 minutes and can’t even get 1,000 people to show up for a game. No wonder people from the midwest migrate. They want to be near champions.

But you know, don’t you Cubbies? You know that next year as Spring Training begins that I will again be spewing optimisim for the upcoming season. You know that I will spend the first day tickets are available pulling your website up on unused PCs at my office buying up what I can even though I have to sit in a virtual queue all day to do so and can then only buy one game at a time. You know that I will be drinking a single Old Style that costs the same as an entire case of Old Style (if purchased in a convenient store) within the Friendly Confines. You know that I will be wearing Cubbie Blue and cheering you on with that undying love.

You know don’t you?

Like they said in Brokeback, “I can’t quit you.” A&E’s Intervention could knock at my door offering a free trip to Tahiti to drive me far from the sorrow of October as a Cubs fan and I would turn it down. I live for the highs and ensuing lows and I live for next year.

Besides, it could be worse, I could live in Boston.

So…until next year…

Krista