You annoy the hell out of me. I shouldn’t have to moderate a small blog this much. Does the spam even work?? I mean, really?

Sincerely,

Me.

…are the worst. It’s not up for discussion. When your lips are chapped, what makes it worse? Moisture on your lips. What part of your body is tougher to keep moisture away from than your lips?

I would rather have a stomach flu that eventually goes away with massive expulsion of various bodily fluids than have chapped lips. I can stop vomiting by not placing anything inside of my stomach to vomit back up. Chapped lips, though? Well, I’m a Midwesterner. Good luck avoiding it.

Seriously, I am really not a fan.

I was doing some surfing of random sites, myspace pages and pictures in search of inspiration today. I found it…boy, did I find it!

Inspiration, thy name is Anne Geddes. I find her work to be creepy. Virtually every woman I know that obsesses over these pictures also obsesses over charting her body temperature to discover the optimal time to make sweet love to her husband/boyfriend/unsuspecting lover ala the Heart song “All I Wanna Do”. These are the same women that will talk, loudly, about their cycles in the break room while the rest of us wonder why they think we care. We don’t care. In fact, we feel terrible for your husband that you have reduced into a workhorse by removing any romantic or, dare I say, fun aspect of sex.

Don’t get me wrong, now, I have nothing against kids. I just feel that kids should be a joyus addition to your life and not an all out obsession. Hang up pictures of your own kids, for the love of God! Or if you do not have your own kids, picures of children in your life. The fact that there is a group of people out there that cannot resist hanging pictures of strange children that they have never met, and likely never will, is freaking creepy. Add in the fact that they are often sleeping or dressed like a fuzzy animal or foodstuff and it takes the strangeness to a new level.

Here are some examples for those that are not familiar:

Oh, look at that. Naked babies of strangers with bugs on their backs. Yes, this is a completely normal thing to have in one’s home or office.

Body image issues…it starts young.

Sometimes, the sweat shop employees get lost in their work.

Shroom trip gone wrong.

Babies in tightly wrapped fuzzy costumes. I have nothing else to add.

I don’t know if I am violating some “woman law” by blasting these pictures. I don’t really care. I just really don’t get it. Babies are awesome, I feel happy looking at pictures of the children in my life because I am seeing them grow and I am experiencing their lives firsthand. But these are pictures of babies that you do not know. These are the pictures of intimate moments of a child. A living, breathing child. It’s like snooping through a random baby album on the internet of a child you do not know. Anyone who thinks this is any different from the mothers who push their children into show business or beauty pageants so that they can cash in is fooling themselves.