A long, long time ago….
I can still remember
When the Cavs got first pick in the draft
The King said if he had his chance
He’d make the folks in Cleveland dance
And, maybe, they’d have a championship in a while.

But 2010 made us shiver
That LBJ could not deliver
The Celtics won in 5 games
Another year of no ring

I can’t remember if he cried
But I do know that he never tried
And something hurt down deep inside
The day that King James died

So bye-bye Mr. LeBron Guy
Delonte likes your mother
So the playoff hopes died
And those ESPN boys speculate on the side
Sayin’ “NYC or Chi-town for this guy”
Cleveland’s champ hopes went awry

Why does Cleveland have such bad luck?
And why does every team there suck?
Is it still because of the river fire?
They have the hall of Rock N Roll
Canton is just right down the road
But can they win a trophy for the city’s soul?

Well I know the town loves their team
I hear them yell and cheer and scream
They watch them all year round
Though their hearts are stomped on the ground

It has been a long 46 year drought
Not that I need to point that out
Once again the fans are gonna pout
The day that King James died

The city’s singin’
bye-bye Mr. LeBron Guy
Delonte likes your mother
So the playoff hopes died
And those ESPN boys speculate on the side
Sayin’ “NYC or Chi-town for this guy”
Cleveland’s champ hopes went awry

Now, 13 years ago the Tribe was close
2 outs away for the closer’s role
But the Marlins tied it anyway
And we all sat through 11 innings
Every house in Ohio was glued to the TV
And then what happened was the most awful thing

See, while the team was looking down
Renteria stole the Indian’s crown
The city was again spurned
Since then they have not returned
And while the people looked for someone to blame
The hopes and dreams all seemed so lame
People went to drink their sorrows away
The day that King James died

The city’s singin’
bye-bye Mr. LeBron Guy
Delonte likes your mother
So the playoff hopes died
And those ESPN boys speculate on the side
Sayin’ “NYC or Chi-town for this guy”
Cleveland’s champ hopes went awry

Oh my heavens don’t forget 87
When that stupid drive caused coronary defection
98 yards moved by so fast
5 minutes and 2 seconds til they owned their ass
Elway and his damn forward pass
Kosar didn’t ever stand a chance

Now the freezing air reeked of doom
While Cleveland sang the same old tune
They thought they’d finally dance
But the horse-man killed that chance
OT came and they took the field
Those stupid Broncos wouldn’t yield
The OT FG killed the deal
The day that King James died

The city’s singin’
bye-bye Mr. LeBron Guy
Delonte likes your mother
So the playoff hopes died
And those ESPN boys speculate on the side
Sayin’ “NYC or Chi-town for this guy”
Cleveland’s champ hopes went awry

And the city was again in that place
Richfield, Ohio in a final game
You could sense that “here we go again”
So come on, Cavs just win one, please advance
Of course, they just crapped in their pants
Cause winning isn’t Cleveland’s friend

The nation watched 23 on stage
The man had ice water in his veins
You knew he’d cause Cleveland hell
That final winning shot fell
As the people wandered out that night
Lighting trash on fire cause it seemed right
MJ just laughed with delight
The day that King James died

The city’s singin’
bye-bye Mr. LeBron Guy
Delonte likes your mother
So the playoff hopes died
And those ESPN boys speculate on the side
Sayin’ “NYC or Chi-town for this guy”
Cleveland’s champ hopes went awry

The Brownies gave us all the blues
When they just up and moved
Though they would be back someday.
The city went down that sad, sad road
They’d gone down several times before
No one could believe the football wouldn’t play

Now in the streets, everyone screamed
LBJ is the MVP
But no happy words were spoken
Everyone’s hearts were broken.
The heartbreak happens in all venues
Browns Stadium, the Jake and the Q
You just expect the massive choke
The day that King James died

The Cleveland’s singin’
bye-bye Mr. LeBron Guy
Delonte likes your mother
So the playoff hopes died
And those ESPN boys speculate on the side
Sayin’ “NYC or Chi-town for this guy”
Cleveland’s champ hopes went awry

The city’s singin’
bye-bye Mr. LeBron Guy
Delonte likes your mother
So the playoff hopes died
And those ESPN boys speculate on the side
Sayin’ “NYC or Chi-town for this guy”
Cleveland’s champ hopes went awry

Side note: While clearing out old comments, the post I’d made about Heidi Montag spawned “horse sex” spam. I’m not sayin’, I’m jsut sayin’.

Sincerely,

Me.

Running in second:

Who doesn’t want a mattress made of Gypsy Sluts?

Heidi declares she is ready to get out of pig flu country while fiming a, um, music video in Mexico.

I’ll admit that I am fascinated with this couple, but not in a good way.

This is in spite of the fact that people actually have to pay 5 bucks. This is up from last year’s attendance of a mere 76,346 last year, but to be fair, it did rain in ‘08.

I woke up and started getting ready for work, just like any other day. I looked outside and saw neighbors leaving for work, just like any other day. I turned on the TV to catch up on some headlines, just like any other day.

Funny; today is the day that gay marriages will occur for the first time in Iowa. I was under the impression that marriages would be cheapened, gays and lesbians would be in the streets recruiting, fire and brimstone would rain down and the world just might spin off of its axis.

Instead, here I am, typing a blog and preparing for the day ahead. The straight people around me are still married and living life as they would have any other day.

Weird.

The only people that seem to be straying from their routines are the protesters. Oh, and the kids that some of them pulled out of school.

Thank you for making this one of the greatest days of my life!

Over the past couple of years, my sig other and I debated getting married in Canada or another state. Our planning kind of stalled. Deep down, I think the reason is that it didn’t feel “right” and that something would be missing.

That something is the chance to make it easy for all of our friends and family to be there. This is an occasion that should be shared by all. The thought of possible financial hardship keeping loved ones from joining us was too much to take. Not to mention the logistics of cross-state planning.

I am so happy we waited and I cannot wait for the day to celebrate with our loved ones!

The best part of this story is that it was shortly before he was outed for using steroids.

The photographer had this to say:

The writer says Rodriguez posed for the photos Feb. 6, the day before the SI report came out, and was “loosening up with shots of Patron [tequila].”

I have to get A-Rod’s back, I suppose. Tequila shots impare your judgment. Just ask Eli Manning and his wife