I’m a little late to the party on this story, but I had to comment on McCain supporter and idiot of the month Ashley Todd.

The sirens went off on Drudge and Huffington Post went ballistic with this story about a 20 year old college student and McCain supporter being robbed at an ATM and getting a “B” carved into her face when the attacker (who was, of course, a black man) saw her McCain bumper sticker. He apparently threatened her if she didn’t vote Obama.

Of course, Ms. Todd clearly forgot that mirror images are actually reversed and the “B” was backwards. Oh, and the ATM she was allegedly at showed no video evidence of her being there. Police sniffed the story out as false rather quickly. There are now charges pending against her for filing a false report.

If you want to go as Ashley Todd for Halloween, you can find a picture here. Quite frankly, it would be the scariest costume at your party.

The replay booth at the Michigan MSU game this weekend was clearly drunk, delusional or on the take. Of course, it ended up not mattering at all, but how can you call this a TD???

Delany has stated his displeasure and will take possible action against the booth official.

Witvoet and his crew should NEVER be allowed to call a Michigan game.

Dear Cubbies,

Well, here we are again. It seems as if we find ourselves at a crossroads in our relationship one more time. For all that I have given you…my hard earned cash in tickets, clothing and memorabilia, my health due to alcohol consumption and occasional cigarette intake, my undying love and devotion…you have once again given me nothing but heartache.

Oh sure, this is not the first time. This is, however, the worst time in recent memory. In 2003 it was just a choke job. 5 outs from the first World Series in decades and some douchebag Burb boy happens to interfere. It was the curse in play. You know it, I know it, Cub fans everywhere know it. In 2007 it was just plain ol’ disappointment. I mean, you almost didn’t even make it so there wasn’t a lot of shock.

This year, however, well, what is the excuse? This is the best Cubs team that I can vividly remember, winning 97 game and never losing more than 6 in a row. The offense was amazing, the rotation was rock solid. THIS was the year. THIS was the end of a century of disappointment. Except for one thing standing in your way…

…you apparently forgot to show up.

That was the most pathetic display of baseball that I have ever seen. That is saying something since I am, well, a Cubs fan. I know pathetic baseball better than most. I just kept looking for that chemistry, that passion, that fire that won you 97 games. It was nowhere to be found. What I did see was a rotation folding like a cheap suit at the worst possible time, bats falling silent and a team that had a very “I don’t give a shit” feel to them.

I can tolerate losing, of course, but what I have loved about my Cubbies is that feeling that at least you tried. There was also a feeling of optimisim and the feeling that it was truly a year away. Well, guess what, this year was here and I don’t feel that way the morning after you flat out blew it. I feel kind of like a cheap whore who has been used and left wanting more while reading a note left on my nightstand after you slipped away.

This feeling is only heightened knowing that the Tampa Bay Devil Ray fans, the fans of a team that have only existed for 11 years, a team that had trouble selling tickets until this year when they were winning thereby showing the loyalty of fans to be about nil, have a chance to see their guys win it all. They don’t have to suffer. It’s fitting that they are in Florida. After all, that afforementioned 2003 collapse came against the Marlins, who had also existed for 5 minutes and can’t even get 1,000 people to show up for a game. No wonder people from the midwest migrate. They want to be near champions.

But you know, don’t you Cubbies? You know that next year as Spring Training begins that I will again be spewing optimisim for the upcoming season. You know that I will spend the first day tickets are available pulling your website up on unused PCs at my office buying up what I can even though I have to sit in a virtual queue all day to do so and can then only buy one game at a time. You know that I will be drinking a single Old Style that costs the same as an entire case of Old Style (if purchased in a convenient store) within the Friendly Confines. You know that I will be wearing Cubbie Blue and cheering you on with that undying love.

You know don’t you?

Like they said in Brokeback, “I can’t quit you.” A&E’s Intervention could knock at my door offering a free trip to Tahiti to drive me far from the sorrow of October as a Cubs fan and I would turn it down. I live for the highs and ensuing lows and I live for next year.

Besides, it could be worse, I could live in Boston.

So…until next year…

Krista

The University of Wisconsn has suspended their band indefinitely due to allegations of hazing, rampant alcohol abuse and sexual misconduct.

Meanwhile…when asked for a comment…every fan of every opposing Big Ten team responded, “no shit? Who didn’t see this coming?”

The Wisconsin band, or Badger fans in general, are the epitome of classlessness. The horror stories that are told by any opposing fan limping out of Camp Randall are legendary. The stories range from people pelting the opposing team with frozen marshmallows with pennies inside to cursing in the face of 5 year olds by 70+ year old alums. Nevermind their behavior on the road. I can honestly say that this couldn’t have happened to a better fan base.

Former Democratic Congresswoman turned Green Party Presidential Candidate Cynthia McKinney has cemented her status in the “crazy effer” hall of fame.

As if assaulting a Capitol Police Officer wasn’t bad enough; she apparently thought it would be a good idea to accuse the Government of slaughtering 5,000 prisoners and dumping their bodies in a Lousiana swamp during Katrina.

Holy shit.

In other news, the Republicans are now saying “see, Palin isn’t THAT bad…right?”

I.Love.This.

“We Believe” is becoming ridiculously overused. In just a span of one week, I’ve seen no fewer than 10 sporting events with fans holding up signs proclaiming their belief in their team. Now, I get it for Cubs fans or the fan of any team with a 100 year championship drought (I’m, admittedly, biased) but Apparently every team from the Mets to USF think that belief in their team will push them that extra distance.

Let’s do a quick check on how well this has worked:

Golden State Warriors’ fans believed in their team in the 2007 NBA playoffs. They lost in the conference Semis. The next season, they made an early exit.

Mets’ fans believe. In spite of their belief, they have managed to get eliminated from playoff contention in the last game of the season two years running. In 07, they did it in style with the most epic collapse in MLB history.

In one that hurts me; Ohio State fans believe. That belief has led to epic failures in three big non-conference games. (yes, it did lead to one NC in the 2002 season, but that is soooo yesterday)

Cubs fans believe. That belief has led to 2 straight playoff seasons for the first time in 100 years. Of course, it also led to a 100 year drought in the WS, a black cat circling Santo, Bartman and the Dusty Baker years.

Penguins fans believed in their young team last season. It led to a beatdown at the hands of the Red Wings.

So, keep on believing, sports fans! It appears to be doing us little good. But, in a world where the economy is shit, gas prices are skyrocketing, jobs are being outsourced causing unemployment to rise and we are in endless wars we have to believe in something.

As if on cue, the news comes that McCain’s VP Nom Sarah Palin’s 17 year old, unwed daughter is pregnant.

I feel for Palin’s daughter and I know that what she will have to go through is rough, but, just when you needed something to come along to smack the right in the face, it does. Palin is a huge advocate of Abstinence Only Education in schools. Apparently, she was also a huge advocate of it in her own family. While there is no guarantee that Abstinence Only Ed will stop teenage pregnancy altogether, it at least gives a bit of education to those teens making the decision to have sex.

Truthfully, however, this has very little to do with her views on sex ed and very much to do with the hypocritcal spewage that is so prevalent on the right. That whole “I’d like to regulate the lives of others while ignoring what is going on in my own family” thing. In fact, Palin has done so to further her politcal career to the point where she was clearly neglecting the issues within her own family. Kudos on those family vaules, Sarah.

Also, shame on Palin for spinning this into her own political gain. Her “yeah, but look, she isn’t aborting it” spin is disgusting. Using the personal events of your own daughter for political gain is oh so very Christian. I’m glad that your daughter can endure some trauma for your benefit.

Since this is the first I’ve touched on her nomination, I’d also like to express the fact that I am offended that so many political analysts think that Palin will draw in Hillary supporters just because she is a woman. If the Hillary supporters were truly supporters of Hillary’s ideology, they will not support a woman who endorsed Pat Buchanan as president and who is an advocate of teaching Creationism in schools. As a woman, I am extremely offended that Pundits think that, as a whole, my gender is that stupid. I’m sure some will vote for her because she is a woman, but those are the same people that buy a mini-van because their one kid clearly needs space for 8. Also, the GOPers that are smiling while saying “she is the only one with executive experience” should be shot. She was mayor of a town that is smaller than most Universities and was Governor of Alaska for about a year and 3 months. Wow, what credentials! I once had to lead a team of about 3 people at work to implement a new procedure. Maybe McCain could have picked me. I’m certainly no poster child of the right, but at least I’m genuine.

Part of me hopes that Obama leaves this alone, part of me doesn’t know how he can. However, I hope he does leave it alone and that people see what a good move it is when he does. He doesn’t need to use the daughter for his gain too.

When people think of Iowa, they think of corn fields, pigs, massive tenderloin sandwiches, large amounts of beer consumption on gravel roads, tailgating and giant indoor rainforests. Most people do not think of bat-shit crazy people, incidents and crimes. Here in Iowa City, we’re all about changing people’s views of Iowa by shattering stereotypes of good ol’ midwesterners.

It all started earlier this year with the story of the Sueppel family. I remember being in a state of disbelief over this story, and yet not all at the same time. It seems like well off, WASPy, white collar individuals are most likely to pull this stunt. Whenever I hear about a murder-suicide, I automatically assume they have a six or seven figure income, a mini-van or SUV, a house valued at at least $350,000, they are active in the community and they are most likely dedicated church-going individuals who are, of course, awesome people because of that fact.

Next, the U of I is under investigation for the fact that they “forgot” to give the Board of Regents a document in the case of the alleged sexual assault by two football players. I’m not even going to bother linking anything other than the main page of stories as it is a ridiculous amount of information to process. People think the U of I is a part of a major cover-up and whatnot. While I doubt that, there are a lot of fishy details.

Then there are the random crimes such as the drunk dude who bit off his buddy’s nose, the ninja robbers, the naked burgler, and any number of Iowa Football player crimes.

But, the most recent story hits the freaking jackpot.

Arthur Miller, a Political Science Professor at the U of I, was accused of offering A’s to women that would let him fondle their breasts. He was charged with bribery, a class C felony here in Iowa. In reality, he probably would plea bargain and have to pick up trash along a highway for 20 hours. Well, he had to go and turn this into a dramatic spectacle. Police have been searching for Miller in Hickory Hill Park. Professor Miller apparently left Tuesday morning and his wife reported him as missing 25 hours later. There was a cryptic note left. Oh, and he purchased a high powered rifle in June.

Hmmmm…

The police traced him to the park using triangulation. They found his car at the entrance to the park with the cell phone inside, several rounds of ammo and no rifle. They now have progressed to “well, he’s probably dead in the park somewhere” mode. Of course, at first, no one saw him or heard a gunshot but now someone said they did see him and another did hear something.

Hmmmm again…

This park is surrounded by a neighborhood and is extremely popular with bikers, hikers and joggers. I’m assuming that more than one person would hear a freaking gunshot from a high powered rifle. And what’s the deal with this park employee? If he saw him, did he see a rifle? If so, why in the hell did he let that slide? Needless to say, I’m skeptical. In fact, I have a feeling the dude has fled the country and is drinking margaritas on a beach in Mexico while fondling the waitstaff. We’d never know, though, because they appear to only be worried about the park. (side note: They did say that they are checking financial records, but this dude isn’t an idiot. If he has had the rifle since JUNE there is no reason that he couldn’t have stashed cash away back then as well. As always, I will change my tune if a body is found anywhere near that park.)

Basically, Iowa City has turned into the OC of the Midwest. I love it, though, as it gives us something to talk about during downtimes at work.

UPDATE!! Several days later, after scouring the park with cadaver sniffing dogs, the body was found 200 feet from the staging area with tracks from the ATVs running right past. This is IC’s finest, folks!! *shakes head*

So, Kyle Orton is going to be the starting QB for the Bears this season.

*silence*

Umm…this guy?

And my personal fav…

No, wait, this is my personal fav…